There’s No Place Like Home, Or The Smell of Home

by kaitlynfawn

I come with a heavy heart as I sit here next to God’s greatest gift, whom sleeps so peacefully.. I apologize in advance to my mother.. This may make you cry.

There is no easy way to say this, but I miss you.. I miss our first night together sleeping in the hospital.. Or the moment I watched your heart melt when you first held Raeghan.. I never knew how much one person could love another, but I witnessed the purest love. You were there when I needed you most. When Raeghan and I were separated, you brought joy to my life. You were there, waiting for me arms wide open every time I had to leave Raeghan.. You were there. You’ve always been there. I may not have always been thankful for you being there but I am forever thankful that God gave me you to me by beautiful, strong mother. I am sorry I had to leave home, moving 5000+ miles away, it doesn’t make any of this easier. I thought saying ‘see you later’ at the airport was hard the first time.. Well it’s harder more now than ever.. I don’t know how we are going to make it for another two and a half years. People say that we will be okay.. that in a few days this will all blow over.. but that’s not the case. I will always miss you.

These past 5 weeks I will forever be grateful for. I was able to give you and dad a long overdue needed vacation. You finally got to see and understand the struggles of living in Italy.. Like almost dying in every roundabout we came too. We shopped, went on journey’s, and we ate! You can’t forget about pizza and gelato! Oh, and that little pastry shop across from the Pordenone hospital! There is nothing like riding a shaky train to make your father happy for his birthday, after the train incident with the Airman and only to have another train incident here in Vicenza.. We had a blast.. Even on the days we stayed in our pj’s all day and hung out. Not sure I want to wash your sheets because they smell like home.. And nothing in Italy smells like home.. Thank you for teaching me how to be a mama.. All the tricks from the old days. Raeghan is blessed beyond belief to have the world best Nana.

My heart is broken.. Everyone at home doesn’t realize how blessed they are to have my mama. I would do anything to be back with her. We will go back to constantly texting and sitting on FaceTime enjoying each others silence.. Granted Raeghan will cry occasionally and make goofy faces, but the day will come when we will be together again.. And oh when the day comes, the struggle will be worth the glorious reward. It’ll be like we never parted ways! I waited 5-6 months to see my mama, but these next two and a half feel like a lifetime away! Take care of her. Our hearts will be heavy for a while.

I love you. Raeghan and I miss Nana.