You’re asking me to wait 24 days?

by kaitlynfawn

Hello Everyone! πŸ™‹

Here’s a quick but i’m sure it’ll be a long update.

Alex left late yesterday night for Germany to attend a leadership course that he needs in order to pick up rank. Everything is so far so good. He passed weight and tape today, his pt test is Tuesday and after that he is in the clear. He has never not made honors in a military school and I expect nothing less of him at WLC but we are being realistic. It’s the first course taken to become a SGT. I have a large amount of faith in Alex and know he will do great, for Raeghan #1, for me and for his career. He’s only gone for 24 days (23 days left) and of course “See Ya Laters” never seem to get any easier, especially to know if he took this course at Bragg he would of been home every night.. But he’s taking it now and it gets to see another part of Europe! He isn’t feeling the best right now, little bit of an upset stomach, lack of real sleep, and pain in his back but he’s stronger than all of that! Prayers for him throughout the next 23 days please. (A small note for Nita Hill.. “See Ya Laters” NEVER get easier but just the smallest feeling in your stomach knowing he is okay can make your day, a phone call saying “I love you” is even better. Promises to come home can’t always be made but know that God says “do not fear” 365 times in the bible. Love you. Jacob is loved and protected by the very best. Very proud of who has become and he will do AMAZING things and God will take him farther than he could of ever imagined!)

Ugh, I may be an adult but I am beyond scared of the dark. I don’t care how small the place is, I am still scared. Now that we have a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house, 2 stories plus a maid’s quarters, I CAN NOT DEAL WITH BEING HOME ALONE! Ugh, the struggle is beyond real. Every little sound gives me the highest anxiety. I am truly just not trying to die today. I’ve watched too much tv and Alex forced me to watch too many horror movies. I cannot handle myself without him when it comes to the dark. When I close my door and lock it, that’s it for the night. Haha. I check under the bed and the closet. If I have to use the bathroom during the night every light in my house is turned on. Haha, thank God I don’t pay the electric bill because it would be higher than the months Alex is home. And just so you know, I did look on Amazon at the cost and different type of machete’s since guns are illegal in Italy. Don’t judge. Haha

On wednesday the 12th I went to my 32 week baby appointment only to measure up to 36 weeks. The doctor put in for an ASAP ultrasound to get the measurements of Raeghan just to see how big she is actually measuring up to be. The ultrasound tech couldn’t read the measurements but she did tell me Raeghan weighs 4.5 lbs. I know doctors do not complain about babies carrying more weight because more weight is better than less weight but ugh, I am incubating a linebacker currently. Alex makes big babies. I am not prepared to birth 10 pounds or close to it, give or take. I just want a smooth sailing delivery, please God with all the drugs I can get. Haha. I am glad she’s a little chunk though because when I asked God for a baby in his timing I asked for a beautiful healthy baby, boy or girl and now I am blessed with a little sassy heartbreaker. The closer we get the more attached Alex is getting. We were laying down in bed the other day to take our daily weekend naps and she was dancing around so I asked Alex to lay his hand on my belly.. Lord, she kicked so hard and he says “did you feel that?” I said “um yes! This is my daily fight of being beaten up by Sassy.” Someone once told me that after you give birth you miss the kicks, twirls, etc., but I think i’ll be okay without them. It’s a struggle to do anything anymore. Shaving my legs is even becoming a struggle. My showers have gone from 20 minutes to 45 minutes, mind you I shave my legs every since day so if I have to take a longer shower, well I guess i’ll be in there a while. I got so bored in the shower the other day Alex came upstairs to sit and talk with me. Haha. It’s kind of what we do when one of us are in the shower. Plus, he gets scared when I call his name when i’m in the shower, especially since i’ve slipped twice. Between carrying the other weight and Raeghan being everywhere, balance hasn’t been my strong suit at times but we put a slip mat at the bottom of the shower which has helped out a lot! Yesterday night when I was dropping Alex off he kissed my belly and asked Raeghan to stay in there for 24 days, just until daddy could get home so he didn’t have to worry about mommy. Ugh, sweetest moment. I didn’t cry when he left, surprisingly, but I know that when he gets home Raeghan will be here. I hope she holds out until he gets home but just the way my body is acting i’m not sure how much longer I can go. God does mighty things and she will come into this world in his perfect timing! She is still head down, as she has always been, but I can barely breath anymore, my hips are back to hurting because she is buried down in there so when she “drops” I don’t know how much more she can drop. I know my body is capable more than I give credit for, I mean for heavens sake God created us perfectly and to do incredible things and that within itself is a blessing! But I will keep everyone updated to how everything goes. I am freaking myself out a little and over thinking but praying at the same time that we hold out until Alex gets home!

Oh, how perfect. Pandora is currently playingΒ Daughters by John Mayer! πŸ’•πŸ’š

Well, on top of being pregnant i’ve had a roller coaster of emotions.. When I made the decision to take a semester off from school I didn’t realize how crappy I would feel about he decision later on. All of my freshman year roommates and friends have returned to Methodist, all cozy and at home in their dorms and i’m in italy just bitter about being in italy. I miss Methodist πŸ’”πŸ˜•πŸ˜₯. Methodist was my dream school and I would of loved to continue my degree but I married the Army and I have to follow my husband and support his career. Well, I applied and got accepted into Pembroke but it’ll be longer than I thought to finish my career.. So once again my emotions have put me in a funk. At the end of the day though, by the time I return to the states I will be done with my Bachelors of Science in Business Administration with a Concentration in Finance and ready to hit the ball running and jumpstart my career. Italy allows me to stay at home with Raeghan for the first 2 and a half years of her life, which is important in my eyes! If she goes to daycare back in the states though she may not like it though.. I don’t know, it’ll all pan out but I am adamant about finishing this degree. I guess when God closed the door at Methodist he opened the door for Italy which allotted me ample amount of time to finish my degree and to add a concentration to it, which to me is a plus! Just have to work my butt off and do it for my family and most important Raeghan! I told Alex my main motivation for finishing school is to make more money than him, haha, but if anyone has someone in the military you know they are over worked and under paid, but that’s an argument for a different day!

Lets just say I have wayy to much time on my hand to thing, rethink and ultimately over think absolutely everything! πŸ˜₯

So I have met a friend πŸ˜œπŸ™Š, 1 friend in italy. If you know me you know that I don’t really like meeting new people, especially ‘friends’ because in the long run it doesn’t work out and wasted time.. blah blah blah, anyways! She and her husband dated for a few years, starting in high school, they took a break and came back to each other, ultimately getting married. Well, they both are brand new to the Army, slowly learning the in’s and out’s of what the military life is all about. I wouldn’t say Italy would be the best first duty station, I really think Bragg was great, but at the end of the day it’s all up to the Army where you go. Her husband is infantry which means he is gone forever and a day.. So being in italy without any family and her husband being gone for many months at a time is hard, so I am happy that God led me to her to help her through this tour, for the both of us! It’s not easy being away from loved ones, especially our best friends but it’s what we signed up for. πŸ˜•

On a positive note, Alex and I are adjusting more and more. It’s hard to make our house a home because we grew up as American’s so we aren’t use to the Italian culture but we are getting the hang of it. We are excited that Raeghan will be born here so she will forever be able to tell people she was born in Italy. Not exactly the chance many people get so it’ll be cool. Another positive, the first we of september our new sectional gets delivered!!! Lets be real, who doesn’t love new furniture, especially new couches! I am so excited! 😜

We are blessed. Some days it’s harder to realize that because we are too flustered with the language barrier or how things are done here in italy but we still know that God had this plan for us, he knows the plans he has for us, this was one of them and to be honest, I think it’s to show our true colors as a couple, as parents, and as a family, just alex, myself and Raeghan. If we make it out of here alive without killing each other, we will be a legit power couple and stronger than ever! πŸ’ͺπŸ’πŸ’š

Hope y’all enjoyed this update!

Love and miss all of you!

Kaitlyn πŸ’•